From the very beginning, the initial sense of belonging starts to form, cuddled up in the warmth of motherhood. Coming up into this world, humans already find themselves in a web of connections — a family, a home, even a nation. 

While the sense of belonging begins by chance, it evolves throughout life and becomes a result of choice. 

As humans, we crave this sense of belonging and connecting, but what does it truly mean to belong?  

The nature of belonging:  

Human beings are complex creatures, from the abstruseness of their cognitive and biological selves to their social and emotional lives. This complexity extends to the concept of belonging, as it goes far deeper than just shared blood or friendships. It's our core need to be seen, accepted, valued, and admired for who we truly are. 

The science of connection: it lightens up the brain. 

Biologically speaking, the human need to belong isn’t just sentimental; it’s also a complex interplay of chemical reactions (dopamine, oxytocin, etc.) in the brain. Connecting and creating a sense of well-being and safety produces an intense feeling of being present in the moment. We become consciously aware of ourselves and at peace with that awareness. 

More than food and shelter: the human need to connect in Maslow’s hierarchy. 

Psychologist Abraham Maslow, who created the famous hierarchy of needs, placed “belongingness"—the need for love and connection—right after basic needs like food and shelter in the pyramid, stating that these must be fulfilled before focusing on the higher ones: esteem needs (confidence and self-worth) and self-actualization needs (growth and achieving).     

This highlights the fundamental importance of belonging in human development.  

  The dark side of belonging.  

The pursuit of belonging, similar to the ‘yin-yang concept’, has a dark side. Many factors actually contribute to that:  

Societal pressures: pushing people to fit in, adapting to certain situations and environments, instead of belonging, which embraces who we truly are.  

Social media: pressuring individuals to engage in unhealthy behaviors for acceptance.  

Social anxiety: The constant pressure to fit in creates social anxiety, making it difficult to feel safe, and fosters a sense of emotional distance, making it difficult to be vulnerable, which is crucial for genuine connection. 

Family structure: Any change in family structures can lead to feelings of instability, which can impact the sense of belonging. 

Building Bridges, not Walls:  

The key is to embrace your individuality, build genuine connections, practice self-compassion, active listening, and empathy.  

Engage with your community, volunteer, be open, and offer support and kindness. 

The path to belonging can be a winding one; it’s a journey, never a destination. Enjoy the process of finding your place in this world, and remember: You are your own home, and you belong to yourself before belonging to anyone or anywhere.