You started losing yourself.

Distraught and detached, you stopped caring – about everything, yourself oh so included.

You stopped smiling.

Absorbed in the silence within you, it sucked you in: you then stopped talking.

God was your silence deafening- overwhelming, exhausting, draining.

You had oh so much to say – why weren’t you saying anything?

The more days passed by, weeks and months, the more detached you grew.

You started accepting, what should by no means be deemed acceptable, and that is the loss of you.

That noise unbelievable, you became vulnerable, and your thoughts unbearable.

A total burnout: Your light went out, and your laugh became so foreign that even your friends forgot what it sounded like.

Have you been eating?

I’m watching you fade away and I can’t do anything. Stop this. Come back. I need you.

It was the kind of situation where you found contradicting your normal self, where being lost wasn't the end of the world.

How did it come to that?

You’ve always had gigantic, contradicting, twisted ideas that overwhelmed you and you've always pictured scenarios and things that could never possibly happen and that was fine. That never scared you.

You liked the uncertainty and the challenge of having to look for your own answers.

How is it that finding answers no longer meant anything to you? Didn’t you recognize your own thoughts anymore? Where did you go?

Believe me, I knew your soul was in so much pain and the fact that it became so bearable to you is yet another heart clenching pain but you stopped everything and I just couldn’t have it:

One would talk to you and you’d be so lost, God knows where, you don’t even hear a word being said. You were self-destructing. You stopped being there.

It was like you never were anything, like you had never learnt to feel or care about anything.

Little did you know, all that was left of you was a thread.

You were so sad, and I am so sorry I let you down that much.

It was my fault that you broke down this much.

I’m sorry I didn’t help you get better.

I’m sorry that I was that distant, but I grew so tired.

I’m sorry that I gave up trying, that I gave up on you.

I am so, so sorry.

Your silence broke me. You became so quiet, I no longer recognized you.

I swear I wanted to save you sooner, I just didn’t know how to.

I’m sorry it took me this long.

And I am so happy, you’re finding your voice back.

I am so happy to hear you laugh again – to see that light in your eyes shine again.

You’re you again and I missed you so, so much.

Keep on being loud and vibrant and happy.

And please, this time, hold on to you.

I promise I will too.